Mississippi man pays for nephews’ transition so he can molest him easier

Waylon McMallister’s bold decision

In a shocking turn of events, Waylon McMallister, a man from rural Mississippi has embraced LGBTQ ideologies with open arms. He has funded his nephews’ transition from male to female. When his community found out, he was immediately ostracized, screeched at, and spat on for even suggesting such a “devilish” action. He endured all. With head held down he took the beatings from his community, for they do not know nor have the foresight to understand his actions.

Our reporters baffled with Mr. McMallister asked him a simple question. “Sir, I’m sure you knew that your community would shun you, yet you still took such a bold and progressive step to help your nephew live his true self.”

McMallister with a gentle smile said, “bold men are always thought of as insane. Bold men are always accused of being deviancy, however, their only crime is being able to see further than his fellow man. We all know that the south is full of old greasy men who love to touch their nephews. I’d know well, I’m one of ‘em! I paid for my nephews’ transition because his new vajayjay would be so much easier to molest.”

Our reporters did not exactly know how to respond so they stayed quiet but obviously had expressions of horror plastered on their faces. A slow clap, however, did emerge from one of the blue-haired LGBT-ABCD representatives who was visibly confused. They did not realize what the correct response to that statement was, but I guess they saw a rural Mississippian supporting LGBTQ in a roundabout manner as a win (even if the man has demonic intentions). The slow clap avalanched to the whole room awkwardly clapping with certain more excitable members of the blue-haired bandits hooting and hollering in support of Waylon McMallister.